Disappointment is our messed up resolution for empty space.
This, my friends, is the theme of this post. So let me say it again…
Disappointment is the resolution, or the destination we seek, for empty space or holes in our lives that we can’t confront.
It’s one thing to feel disappointed in other people, or the outcome of an insignificant event, but it’s another to feel ashamed of oneself. Let’s be real, to resolve the emotions of being disappointed in others one can simply “forgive and forget” or become distracted by another life event.
Often times, disappointment in everything or everyone (aside from ourselves) is the easiest experience to overcome. To resolve the issue, you simply find a way to explain or excuse the reason behind your disappointment and BOOM—you’re “healed.”
Although it’s not always easy to heal for those that were deeply hurt by any given situation, the finality of forgiveness directed at OTHERS (or scenarios) is easy to visualize.
For example, many young adults have a hard time forgiving a parent that hurt them in the past. Although they may sit with that pain for years, making it look as though it’s impossible to get through, they can still visualize an outcome—good or bad.
If that young adult I mentioned above, that was disappointed in a parent, were to actually be disappointed in themselves—they wouldn’t be able to see a final outcome as easily.
Our minds, when we are experiencing grief or an overwhelming combination of emotions, can’t picture the finality of our own lives. This is why someone people convince themselves that bad times won’t get better, or believe that their biggest flaw will remain their downfall.
Disappointment is, truly, the resolution for empty space. Since we tend to forget that our lives can change dramatically in mere seconds, we believe that the heaviness of sadness surrounding our current situation is actually emptiness.
Therefore, we claim we are "disappointed, depressed, and defeated."
Now, don’t mistake the simple use of this word for the "heavy" version that I'm currently addressing. I’m not talking about those moments when we failed a test in class or forgot a significant birthday.
Being disappointed in your insignificant mistake is different than being disappointed in who you are as a decision-making human being.
Long story short, there are side effects of not being okay with yourself, and it’s about time we talked about how to come face-to-face with your inner bully.
how to confront it
Confronting what is already difficult to acknowledge is exactly what you can imagine—hard. These are the moments when people begin to seek out professional help when they feel like they can’t grasp their own inner bully. It's 100% true when people say that we can be the magicians of our mind, tricking ourselves into believing that we can’t catch up with ourselves.
These “confront your demons” stages in life also yield the birth of the “self-help” phase—when we feel as though we need to take back control of the emotions we recognize.
Ever wonder why people say “quarter-life” or “mid-life” crisis? These crises come from a feeling of discontentment during major milestones in life.
With the varying stories that people tell with their lives, both magnificent and tragic, we begin to allow jealousy to control our benchmarks. One day you’re content with your lifestyle then, the next, you see your peers doing more with their lives and begin to wonder if you’ve done enough (or are enough).
So, confronting where you are NOT rather than where you are is one way to combat disappointment in your current situation. If you accept the fact that you won’t be where or what you see online or in person, it'll become easier to avoid "avoidance."
how to handle it
I won’t begin to explain how each person should handle disappointment aimed at themselves—considering how different our lives are on a day-to-day basis.
The one thing I can begin to help you break down is writing down what you think could improve. If you believe your financial situation is in ruin, write it down. If you feel like you can’t find happiness in your relationship, write it down. Family drama? Write it down.
Although I believe making impulsive decisions to incite change is always necessary, don’t write down negative things with the intention to “quit” or “change” your life cold turkey. Just write down what you feel needs work, even if it’s your own thoughts, to see your unspoken feelings come to life on paper.
To get transparent with you, I chose to practice what I preach and write down a few points that I know need to be addressed.
